Anybody that knows me knows that I am not big on exercise. At all. I can honestly recall running only once in the past month. That was to make it to the bar before the end of the 7th inning at the Twins game last Friday so that I could get alcohol for the remaining two innings. (don't judge me. I have my priorities straight)

Luckily, I succeeded and the entire group benefited from my running. It was at this time that made me think, "maybe I should get back into shape." I mean, what if I hadn't been able to make it to the bar in time? All hell would have broken loose, that's what. The people I'm with probably would have left me at the game for letting them down.

I personally know about 20 people in Minnesota. Every single one of them have and ride a bike on a regular basis. It's weird. I've never seen a place so bicycle crazy as Minnesota. That being said, I hate bicycles. I really do. I hate them because bike riders find it necessary to take up the ENTIRE road even when 2000 pound automobiles where coming their way. What do they think is going to happen or who is going to win that game of chicken? That's right, me and my SUV are going to win. It's almost as if bike riders think they have the same rights on the road as automobiles do and we all know thats just silly.

I don't get why bikers get all pissy when you tell them that biking sucks. Besides the fact that they are probably in better shape and saving the earth by not polluting and saving money on gas.......shit, maybe bike riders ARE better than non-bikers.

I had to be careful writing the above statements about bikers and bike riding. I only have about 4 blog followers and they are all bike riders. If I fall down to only 2 followers, I'm pretty sure that Google suspends my account for being a crappy blogger. Without a bike, I've come to realized that I'm on the verge of being kicked out of my present social groups because I don't ride and I'm in need of some of exercise to lose some weight. I recently noticed that I'm not as svelte--(adjective meaning slender or suave)--as I used to be and need to get back to being a sexy animal. I can no longer look at it as there is just more Travis to love.

Soooo, I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to purchase a bicycle. I'm not going to be one of "those" bike riders with all the gear (helmet, shoes, gloves, biking shorts, spandex shirt, little mirror on my helmet to see behind me, water bottle) or one of "those" bikers that use the correct hand signals when turning or stopping either. Basically, this biking experience may kill me because I refuse to do it correctly. I guess I love living on the edge and being dangerous. I'm kinda like Jack Bauer from 24. Only better looking. And funnier. And probably a better telecom sales rep.

Another positive I came up with is that I could ride my bike home from the bar to avoid a DUI. Although, I make fun of those people that ride a bike to the bar now and I don't really want to be "the guy who rides his bike to the bar" and have people point and laugh at me.

(Does anyone else find it as funny as I do that I would even make "riding a bike to avoid a DUI" a positive point in me buying a bicycle? )

Anyway, I'll keep you posted on my biking experience. I guess the first step is actually purchasing one. I failed to deliver on the interviews I was going to conduct from my last blog entry, so we'll have to see if I fail at this one too.

Last note: I'm going to search the internet for some of that stuff that Floyd Landis was using to win the Tour de France (another reason I hate biking) so that I can be doing 50 mile bike rides by August.

If you don't know who Floyd Landis is, than you just read this last line and said, "what? thats stupid. I'm done reading his dumb blog entries."