I saw two things today that I never dreamed I would see on a Wednesday. Friday, I could see this happening......but not a Wednesday. No Way.
1) I saw a sign today that said, "WE BUY NEW AND USED ACCORDIONS". First all, how can this place buy new accordions? If I was an accordion sales person I would be all over this place!!! I then thought, "I have never met or even seen a person play the accordion." There just can't be that many used accordions just sitting around.
The real kicker is that this sign was on the side of an old White Castle building.....that is now a converted jewelry store. This, of course, brings up a whole new set of questions: namely, who could have POSSIBLY thought, "hey, I think it's a great idea to start a jewelry store in an abandoned White Castle."
2)I drive a lot for work and see a lot of bumper stickers that make me either laugh or think, "I hope that person gets a flat tire for being dumb enough to put that on their junky car". Today though....today was different. I saw one that made me stop walking across the parking lot and stare at this cars bumper. It read: WHAT WOULD JESUS BOMB?
I was dumbfounded by this. It was obviously a play on the "WWJD" bracelets, but I couldn't figure out who, if anyone, Jesus would want to bomb. (maybe the New York Yankees, which would be fantastic) Then, I couldn't figure out what kind of person puts a "WHAT WOULD JESUS BOMB" bumper sticker on their car. I was truly perplexed. (perplexed was my dictionary.com email word of the day). There really isn't much more to this story and I'm pissed at myself for not taking a picture to post for you. If anyone has any clue what the heck "WHAT WOULD JESUS BOMB" means, I'm all ears. Although, I may be a little weirded out(technical term) that one of my friends knows what that may mean.
I didn't see these today, but my two favorite billboards ALWAYS makes me laugh when I pass them. One is of a ladies crotch in a swimsuit that says, "Tired of Shaving?" and another that says, "Smile, your mother didn't believe in abortion." I actually tried to take a picture of the crotch billboard, but almost took out myself and four other cars in doing so. Who knows, maybe one of those cars would have had the WHAT WOULD JESUS BOMB bumper sticker!!!
I got a bit of bad news today, though. I found out today that Geico has decided to drop the guy who does the voice overs for the Gecko and are no longer going to use the Gecko as their mascot. While this is normally not a big deal, I purposely CHOSE Geico because of that gecko. I have a thing for talking animals and, well, this one also had an English accent so it was really a no-brainer for me. I didn't even care that they weren't the cheapest.....they had the coolest damn mascot and that was what most important. Time to start looking for new auto insurance and you all know of my hatred for the Progressive lady. What a pain in the butt.....
Last bit of news----I'm playing in a kickball league tonight for the first time since grade school. I was, frankly, the king of the diamond in kick ball and I'm pretty sure that will be true tonight. I'm thinking I go 4-4, with 3 RKI (runs kicked in) and probably throw out 4 base runners. Apparently the team stinks as they got crushed by 11 runs last week. So, if I guide them to victory, I will fully expect to be carried off the field on their shoulders. I'll post a picture of that!!!!
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The meaning of the bumper sticker is saying that Jesus in fact would bomb no one. The person with the bumper is a person that doesn't believe in wars. I am surprise that you didn't catch that. It must have been that you were still taken back by the billboard that had a womans crotch and shaving....I don't blame you.
ReplyDeleteBy the way...keep up the blogging. It starts my day off with a chuckle. Hehe
As for car insurance, you could always go with esurance, the "mascot" is not a talking animal, but she is a lot better than Flo.
Since you love talking animals I assume that you have Aflac for the reason that there is a talking duck, and that reason alone. If not then I assume you are animal racist towards ducks.
Now on to Kickball....it makes sense that you were king of the diamond back in the day since you grew up in a farm town and there probably wasn't much competition. I mean you were a star football player too. Since you did update your blog that you won and turned the team around I will also assume that the team did carry you off the field in victory.
All good points, jake, and I did get that explanation on the bumper sticker. I think you're giving Jesus too much credit. Remember, there are several instances in the bible where Jesus gets pissed and probably thought, "If I had a bomb.....well, you don't even want to know the pain I would bring."
ReplyDeleteThat Aflac duck is badass, too. I, however, don't need supplementary insurance as the good folks at AT&T pay for that for me. If I did need it, I would certainly go with the talking duck. When I was a kid I used to daydream about having the Snuggles fabric softner bear as a buddy. Who am I kidding....I still think that would be awesome.
I'm not even going to justify your kickball comments with a response. MVKk's (most valuable kickers) let their play on the diamond speak for their game.
Yuck! Too much crotch on this blog...
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