I'm back....calm down, folks. The rioting can stop.

I like TV. No, I love TV----commercials, infomercials, cartoons......It's always been there for me when others haven't. It never complains about me picking up clothes or that I drink too much or that I'm too awesome. It's just there. Even now that I probably spend more time on the internet "researching" things, I still do it while in front of the TV.

With that said, I hate all the cop drama shows on TV. Which normally wouldn't be an issue(I hate lots of stuff) except that there are no less than 97 cop shows on TV at any given time. I do need to clarify that I like REAL cop shows that discuss current or past cases. If you haven't seen Gangland, you're really missing out on a good show. By now, you may be thinking, "Where the hell is this going?".......JUST HOLD YOUR HORSES, I'M GETTING THERE. (hold your horses--what the hell does that even mean....)

I always think it's funny when they show a real suspect/gang member/undercover FBI agent/Witness Protection Plan person and they try to blur out their face so that someone who really wants to kill them won't know who it is......I mean, C'MON. Most of the times it's sooooo obvious who the person is behind that dark circle. I can just imagine a bunch of thug gangbangers sitting back and saying, "That's obviously that punk snitch Reggie. Let's go burn down his mothers house and then go get some 40'os of cheap beer." (I don't need any comments on my obvious stereotyping either).

I liken this to when I read some article in a magazine or paper (yes, I read. Don't act so surprised) and they post something crazy/awful/embarrassing about someone and then use a fake name and put an asterick behind the name and say "not their real name". Well, noooo shit. Once, just once, I wish someone would write, "*for the record, this is their actual name. I know, they are stupid for sleeping with their cousin and you should sever all ties with this person. His name is Jon Smith and he lives at 135 Ivy Court". Actually, this is absolutely nothing like blurring out the face on a TV show, but it's my blog and I can write whatever I want.

Back to wonderful TV........I hate Drew Carey hosting the Price is Right, too. Nothing much to add here, just that he's absolutely awful and I'm going to chose NOT to spay or neuter my pets now just because he tells me too.

I am really tired of all the sexual enhancement drug commercials. I don't have an issue with the drugs, it's the commercials that royally suck (Keep making the drugs---I'm pushing 34 and don't know how much longer I can be a porn star in bed). I don't know about you, but I've never been aroused by sitting in separate bathtubs on the beach at dusk. Frankly, I think that's a little creepy. Imagine saying or hearing, "Honey, I'm horny. Lets go sit in the separate bathtubs I put on the beach." You may be hearing from a divorce attorney pretty soon if that's your idea of turning on your significant other.

The drug commercials that show old men having to pee all the time suck too. These drug companies basically PRINT money and this is the best crap their high priced marketing companies can come up with??? I actually tried to come up with a commercial in my head about old men not having to pee so much, but I couldn't. The I went and showered for 45 minutes to get the grossness off of me.

Finally, I love infomercials. People always find this weird and I can't really pinpoint WHY I love infomercials. I mean, the only time they are on is REALLY early or REALLY late which means I'm only watching them because I'm either up late from drinking or up super early because my precious dog had to go outside at 3:30 and I couldn't fall back asleep. Maybe I like them because their sole job is to make my life easier or better (which would be hard because my life is pretty awesome) . From the cleaning tools to the devices that make your cooking life turn from crappy to amazing, they are great. The best ones are the workout infomercials. I'm not going to lie----I have 4% body fat and don't really need to work out. Really, I only watch them because they put amazingly hot women in the infomercials. I'm convinced it's not the fatties that are/should be watching the work out infomercials, it's the guys who are up because they just got home from the bar and turned on the TV.

I guess I could go further and assume it's the ugly guys who just got home from the bar because, obviously, if they had any game they wouldn't be coming home alone and watching hot girls on work out infomercials........now I feel like a loser for watching work out infomercials. Great. Just great.